Everyone is going around speaking Italian. When they’re not speaking Italian, they’re speaking other languages with Italian accents. I try not to speak at all so tourists will think I’m Italian and mysterious. Even when Italians say things like, Please pass the butter, it sounds like, Shall we make love in a tender field of lace? I feel conversant already. Hey you! Il cucchiaio! (Hey you! Spoon!) This can also mean: Come here and spoon with … [Read more...]
Girly Muckle and the Queer Hands.
A Selkie isn't a cutie-pie creature. So don't go imagining, like, the mermaid from that warped Disney movie. We don't swim around with our boobs covered in seashells, with roses draped around our curvy fins. We don't dance with lobsters at the bottom of the ocean. We eat them with our bare teeth. … [Read more...]
Remember to love life.
I thought I would remind myself, and the Unity-Verse, that I published two books last year. For some reason it's been easy for me to forget. Some days I struggle to remember my accomplishments. I'm going to remedy that feeling by sharing a review of my books from the always thoughtful and talented Joan Sullivan. This article was published in the Telegram on September 2, 2021. Read on, and thanks so much for spending time with this: Publishing a book is an accomplishment; having two released … [Read more...]
CEREAL KILLERS IN LOVE!!!
JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWE' VALENTINE'S DAY! A SERIAL THRILLER FILLED WITH ROMANCE, LOVE, CEREAL, AND MURDER. A TEN DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTION GETS YOU A SIX PART SERIES, PART ONE TODAY! EACH SUBSEQUENT CHAPTER ARRIVES AT YOUR IN-BOX ON THE 14TH OF EACH MONTH. SEND YOUR REQUEST AND E-TRANSFER TO STAPLETONB@BELLALIANT.NET. THIS CREEPY CREATION COMES TO YOU FROM THE BRILLIA BEWILDERING MINDS OF BERNARDINE ANN TERAZ STAPLETON & NICOLE LENORA SMITH. … [Read more...]
Cereal Killers in Love
This is a little something myself and Nicole Lenora Smith got up to during the pandemic. Details are coming your way very soon. Twenty instalments over the next ten months, just two dollars per thrill! (instalment.) Details pending! … [Read more...]
Kitchen Party Theatre Festival Podcast!
Feeling all the love today for the inaugural Kitchen Party Theatre Festival podcast: From our Kitchen to Yours! We've been asking all our guests: What does home mean to you? Share your thoughts with us on our Facebook Page! … [Read more...]
This is the Cat.
Come hither, O mistress. Cast your lovely gaze to where I hang by a fragile claw from the top of the window coverings. This petite snag is unhappily interfering with my planned afternoon activity of licking beneath my left leg. Oh ho! Look how I make the jest! Alas. Sister-of-my-Heart is of no assistance as she is engaged in her afternoon activity of napping. Wherefore art thou, oh heart? I most anxiously await your blessed return. Perhaps you are in awe of my astonishing … [Read more...]
balm for the broken hearted.
So I went to the hospital, to emergency, and I had to wait for at least 6 hours, or it could have been 60 years. And finally one of the Nurses spoke to me and she said “What seems to be the problem?” I said, "My heart. I think it’s broken." And suddenly I was surrounded by Nurses and they started shouting out “Stat! Stat! Lady here with a broken heart! Stat!” And they called out “Quick! Get the cart! Get the cart!” And they put me on a gurney and wheeled me so fast through all the … [Read more...]
woman, naked.
woman, naked. written and performed by berni stapleton directed by sharon king-campbell one woman. one truth. one funny show. one night only: thursday, november 26th. two shows: 7 and 9 pm lspu hall, cox and palmer second space tickets are 22 dollars on sale soon at 753-4531 & rca.nf.ca … [Read more...]