Come hither, O mistress. Cast your lovely gaze to where I hang by a fragile claw from the top of the window coverings. This petite snag is unhappily interfering with my planned afternoon activity of licking beneath my left leg. Oh ho! Look how I make the jest! Alas. Sister-of-my-Heart is of no assistance as she is engaged in her afternoon activity of napping. Wherefore art thou, oh heart? I most anxiously await your blessed return. Perhaps you are in awe of my … [Read more...]
May I Have a Word?
Make me a window from sonnets that open and close to vistas of hence-forths and wither thouest. Build me a house of words where every room is changeable by the moment and we can get lost in a pause. Wither thou goest without me on this day, while I wait in my too too immovable mortar and bricks. Put words in the sky that cause the birds to flutter and the birds can eat the words and sing like the ancient choirs they are. The best bed will be made from ellipses that linger on and on … [Read more...]
WHERE HAVE I BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
A user's guide to living: Someone very clever once wrote: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Or, maybe it was: Life is what happens when you’re looking the other way. Or, it might have been: Life is what happens. Actually, I wrote that last part. It’s been a long time since I last posted a blog, a long time since I wrote about waking up alive. I kept thinking I’d get around to it. And then half a year whizzed by. In terms of living I feel as if I’ve only … [Read more...]
Hello world, it’s me.
Hello world. It's me. Bernardine. It's been swell traipsing around the sun with you for another year. What a tough one, eh? Someone smarter than me wrote that no one promised life would be easy all the time. And yet we only get the one life to fiddle around with, so I have to say I'm grateful for the last 12 months of discovery. I'm not going to reflect on it too much, because it seems to me that looking back is the sure way to becoming a pillar of salt. On such a day as this, with so … [Read more...]
The Life Changing Magic of Mess: Waking Up Alive!
My house is usually immaculately clean except for most of the time, when it isn’t. Once upon a time I was fanatical about cleaning in preparation for the afterlife. Mine. I didn’t ever want to walk out the door without having cleaned, in case it was someone else who had to come back in and deal with the madness. Kind of like: Always wear the good underwear in case you get hit by a bus. I didn’t want anyone else to have to clean up … [Read more...]
Waking Up Alive: How to eat your cake and have it too.
A piece of my house is dancing merrily down the road and I wonder if I should chase after it, but that would mean I’d have to put down the piece of cake I’m eating. There’s a certain kind of buttery icing that melts my heart, sets my teeth to tingling, and rivals sex. It tends toward the creamy side, rather than the sweet, and you just know that if a drop of it spills on your clothing it will leave a grease mark that will never come out. After … [Read more...]
Waking Up Alive: How to Weigh Nothing.
I’m obsessed with a video of two humpback whales floating beneath the ocean surface, observing a miniscule diver, who is in turn observing them through a camera. These living monoliths hover, float, enigmatic, barnacle covered, taking a tiny break from orbiting the earth from within. I thought of them yesterday while I was standing in line at the grocery store. The elderly lady ahead of me was struggling to get her 123 items checked through the Express Lane, so I had plenty … [Read more...]
Waking up Alive: Adventures in Living.
I’ve noticed this thing that’s been happening to me a lot of late. I’ve only gradually become aware of what a phenomenon it is, a gift I never appreciated until now. It happened to me again this morning. I woke up alive. I’ve been waking up alive my entire life, of course, but never woke to what a miracle it is until recently. I don’t know why the entire world isn’t in a mad fever of celebration every single day, when we all wake up … [Read more...]
Killing Time in Airports: And a seat for my lobster.
The man behind me in the line-up for security is not respecting the invisible electronic fence of my personal space boundary. He keeps bumping into me with his box of lobsters and inching his wheeled carry-on forward so that it looks as if it and I are going steady. If I lean backwards into him (and I just might oh why don’t I and show him) my knapsack will come to rest against his box of lobsters and together we will form a new type of interstellar being. Or, better yet, maybe I will grab his … [Read more...]
My Life as a Crêpe.
I wanted to buy a face cream. A little treat to help with the winter flaking. I went to my favourite drug store. Twenty minutes in I was standing stupefied before a dazzling array of lotions and potions. Do I need the revitalizing lift serum? If I buy the rejuvenating mask for my cheeks do I also need to get the under eye brightening treatment? The 8 in 1 miracle drops promise sculpting, firming, and toning. Is it a face cream or a gym … [Read more...]