A piece of my house is dancing merrily down the road and I wonder if I should chase after it, but that would mean I’d have to put down the piece of cake I’m eating. There’s a certain kind of buttery icing that melts my heart, sets my teeth to tingling, and rivals sex. It tends toward the creamy side, rather than the sweet, and you just know that if a drop of it spills on your clothing it will leave a grease mark that will never come out. After … [Read more...]
Killing Time in Airports: And a seat for my lobster.
The man behind me in the line-up for security is not respecting the invisible electronic fence of my personal space boundary. He keeps bumping into me with his box of lobsters and inching his wheeled carry-on forward so that it looks as if it and I are going steady. If I lean backwards into him (and I just might oh why don’t I and show him) my knapsack will come to rest against his box of lobsters and together we will form a new type of interstellar being. Or, better yet, maybe I will grab his … [Read more...]
My Life as a Crêpe.
I wanted to buy a face cream. A little treat to help with the winter flaking. I went to my favourite drug store. Twenty minutes in I was standing stupefied before a dazzling array of lotions and potions. Do I need the revitalizing lift serum? If I buy the rejuvenating mask for my cheeks do I also need to get the under eye brightening treatment? The 8 in 1 miracle drops promise sculpting, firming, and toning. Is it a face cream or a gym … [Read more...]
Arse to 5 K: Prelude to a Miss.
A small flotilla of ducks regard me serenely from the lake as I begin a vigorous set of calisthenics to warm up. There are three of them, and all are still watching ten seconds later as I sit on a bench to pant and rest. One of them, whom I have dubbed Little Waddler, swims ashore to plop next to me, in expectations of Bickies. No, I say. No Bickies today. Today we are turning over a new leaf. Nay, not merely a leaf, … [Read more...]
Killing Time in Airports: Life in the Fog Lane.
Living in St. John’s means that in order to fly one first has to transcend the climate. Newfoundland-Labrador is extremely challenging for even the most determined traveler. A minor breeze of mist will ground the largest airlines while the smallest cigar sized plane will merrily bounce into altitude through the blizzard. The wait for delayed flights to either arrive or depart creates an excellent window for attending to the brutal details of life. Now is the time to … [Read more...]
Killing Time in Airports: Zen and the Lost Gates
In a Sufi fable, the lost Gates of airports live on in a murmuration of winged creatures, interfering with planes and occasionally manifesting as dense fog to obstruct flights. It is very stressful to be checking through security holding a boarding pass with no Gate indicated on it. This stress is only surpassed when you disembark from one flight knowing you have mere minutes to make your connecting flight, and your boarding pass still has no Gate indicated on it. Killing … [Read more...]