My house is usually immaculately clean except for most of the time, when it isn’t. Once upon a time I was fanatical about cleaning in preparation for the afterlife. Mine. I didn’t ever want to walk out the door without having cleaned, in case it was someone else who had to come back in and deal with the madness. Kind of like: Always wear the good underwear in case you get hit by a bus. I didn’t want anyone else to have to clean up … [Read more...]
My Life as a Crêpe.
I wanted to buy a face cream. A little treat to help with the winter flaking. I went to my favourite drug store. Twenty minutes in I was standing stupefied before a dazzling array of lotions and potions. Do I need the revitalizing lift serum? If I buy the rejuvenating mask for my cheeks do I also need to get the under eye brightening treatment? The 8 in 1 miracle drops promise sculpting, firming, and toning. Is it a face cream or a gym … [Read more...]
Vain and Undiluted!
Envy will get you nowhere in life. Many people ask me: Is your gorgiosity natural, or is it fake? I tell them the truth. It’s fake. My face takes work. I’ve got a face like the road less taken. It’s always got a hole in it somewhere. Every morning when I get up I’ve got to lay down the asphalt. I plaster on the foundation, the powder, the blusher, the concealer, the eye shadow, the eyeliner, the mascara, the eyebrow pencil, the lip pencil, the lipliner, the lipstick, the lip gloss. … [Read more...]